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neurotic-
Mar. 10th, 2006 | 11:01 am
I wish I had a better word to describe how I've been feeling lately TRYING to make reasonable decisions and have organized thoughts regarding my upcoming return to Albuquerque. The thesaurus doesn't offer me any alternatives I understand, psychoneurotic sounds ok as does neurasthenic and psychasthenic, but I can't rationalize visiting the dictionary to discover the definitions when I have plenty of other things to do, like repack my bags a third time.
Of course, I've never been a landlord before and I've never lived in ABQ so perhaps some confusion of thought is 'normal'.
Despite all my adaptability and multicultural experience, situational newness throws me for some loops, even though I'd like to and feel I SHOULD have my head on my shoulders somehow.
I've never owned a home before, though the idea of owning a home has been a positive prospect for me for a long long time.
Owning a home you'll live in is considerably different than owning a home someone else will want to rent.
I can't imagine that any stranger would want the pictures or chotchkies or teapots that Gil and I would touch a place up with. Strangers blue and white striped sofas prolly wouldn't fair well with leaf green livingroom curtains.
I can't imagine strangers willing to love and care for plants.
I TRY to keep my ideas to the hardware strangers would prefer, like a repaired sidewalk and entry walk, and more accommodating porch area, shaded area in the back etc.
Strangers probably prefer a barren pallette onto which they'll cast their stylish and creative or stoic and formal souls into their abode. And yet- barren blandness, hotel like stylish anonymity has never been Gil and my taste...Even though we've never had a place that was our own we must keep our reins on and be business like instead of artistically expressive--unless in some small ways our creative thought can be unintrusively usefully reapplied into a form that others can appreciate.
And yet- I have to put in some temporary touches atleast that will lend 217 Stanford a little soul that allow Gillian to feel at home there, like it is her place too. Two stuffed dragons, a toy wooden truck that's been with us throughout our moves, and one of her framed mottos, her bulky but can't throw away
Beauty and the Beast teapot etc. Personalized, even the littlest bit, is important to Gil. With all of our changes and moves and insecurities some soul gives us hope. It's what we've had when we haven't had much else to count on. If tenants can't cope w/ a little soul, well then fine, we'll box it in the attic when we go..
Of course, I've never been a landlord before and I've never lived in ABQ so perhaps some confusion of thought is 'normal'.
Despite all my adaptability and multicultural experience, situational newness throws me for some loops, even though I'd like to and feel I SHOULD have my head on my shoulders somehow.
I've never owned a home before, though the idea of owning a home has been a positive prospect for me for a long long time.
Owning a home you'll live in is considerably different than owning a home someone else will want to rent.
I can't imagine that any stranger would want the pictures or chotchkies or teapots that Gil and I would touch a place up with. Strangers blue and white striped sofas prolly wouldn't fair well with leaf green livingroom curtains.
I can't imagine strangers willing to love and care for plants.
I TRY to keep my ideas to the hardware strangers would prefer, like a repaired sidewalk and entry walk, and more accommodating porch area, shaded area in the back etc.
Strangers probably prefer a barren pallette onto which they'll cast their stylish and creative or stoic and formal souls into their abode. And yet- barren blandness, hotel like stylish anonymity has never been Gil and my taste...Even though we've never had a place that was our own we must keep our reins on and be business like instead of artistically expressive--unless in some small ways our creative thought can be unintrusively usefully reapplied into a form that others can appreciate.
And yet- I have to put in some temporary touches atleast that will lend 217 Stanford a little soul that allow Gillian to feel at home there, like it is her place too. Two stuffed dragons, a toy wooden truck that's been with us throughout our moves, and one of her framed mottos, her bulky but can't throw away
Beauty and the Beast teapot etc. Personalized, even the littlest bit, is important to Gil. With all of our changes and moves and insecurities some soul gives us hope. It's what we've had when we haven't had much else to count on. If tenants can't cope w/ a little soul, well then fine, we'll box it in the attic when we go..